And that is where I'd get lost and confused. I had choices. It could be childhood sexual abuse by a babysitter, grade-school janitor and my father. Or it could be the death of a child. Or it could being diagnosed with MS.
I won't go into details why I considered myself healed from the abuse and the grief of losing a baby. MS is still a battle. But I'd hear other over-weight people talk about how they obsessed about food, about the next meal all day long, and I'd wonder why I wasn't like that - yet I am over-weight. Lots of times I forget to eat. But when I do - it's junk. Junk is easier and cheaper. Simple as that. But noooo... these books, the counselors, the TV experts kept telling me that I was burying my pain with food, and once I figured out the pain, I'd lose the weight.
On page 52, it hit me. My obsession, my drug of choice, my addiction is TV. I plan my non-active life around television. It used to be the Internet and TV. Now it's just the TV.
So not only am I back to where I started (what feelings am I burying by being zoned out on my TV shows), I'm also thinking I'd rather the obsession was about food. Not eating food is easy. Not watching television ... that's a whole different animal.