Muttin: What's that. Another contraption?
Me: A laptop computer.
Jeffrey: (with a worried look) It sits on your lap?
Me: Yup
Me: Hmmm, thats true, you're always jumping on my lap, aren't you?
Muttin: You're on your way to ignoring us the same way you did SonOne when he was a teenager, and you just discovered the Internet. Thought you had regrets about that. Guess not.
Me: Listen, you little bitch, I've about had it from you. GO LAY DOWN RIGHT NOW.
Muttin: Wow, that's the first time you've ever yelled at me in caps.
Me: Go. Right. Now.
Jeffrey: (goes to lay down, and looks at Muttin pleadingly to do as she's asked before I get madder, because he's her conscience)
Me: Muttin, how about this - you can come sit in my lap when I'm on the toilet. How bout that? It's all you deserve really.
Muttin: I beg your pardon? Seems like that would make me the worst kind of attention whore.
Me: As opposed to a ... lap dog?
~
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