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Thursday, January 10, 2013

Sleep, sleep, how do I love thee?

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A couple of days ago, I went to a volunteer orientation for a place called "Muttville".  It's a rescue center for senior dogs.  I ended up staying for about 5 hours, cause it was so fun.

But I had to leave Annie home, because no "stranger" dogs allowed in case the senior dogs are carrying disease.  Last week, I took Annie to the vet, to update her shots.  I'd forgotten that the rabies shot and whatever the other one/s are... are now done every 3 years, so she was fine as far as shots were concerned.  Except the bordedella one, commonly called the "kennel cough", so she did get that shot.  I don't want to bring any doggy diseases home.

So I was Annie-less for a good part of the day.  There's a bus stop on the same block where Muttville is located, so it was a very short walk - that wasn't a big deal.

There were 2 others being trained - a guy with no experience with dogs, having never been near them even, and another lady with an Akita at home, so she has experience with large dogs.  

We walked approximately 15 dogs, taking them out in two trips.  I wobbled some, but it was fine.

However, later on, on my way home, it was not so good.  I fell between 5 to 7 times.  Twice were flat out, straight down on my face.

So today?  And the day before?  Absolute flat out on my back in bed all the damn day long.  I feel like I was beat up by 3 pit bull dogs, and left for dead in the street where a tank then rolled over me.  Even my stomach muscles hurt.  And this unfamiliar muscle between my shoulder and shoulder blade.

It made me realize how very much Annie does for me.  It seems so simple - to walk.  All I need is the touch of either the wall, the handrail, the leash with someone at the end of it, the the elbow on a human walking with me.  Somehow, it's a peripheral thing - touching something grounds me, however light it is. That's why she doesn't have to be perfectly trained - all I need is for her to walk like a lady, and I'm good.

I guess I just have to realize that any assault to my body is a trauma.  A fall is not just maybe a skinned up knee and a bruise here or there.  For me, it's a full-on flare-up of stupid symptoms.  And... it's 2 days where I can't do anything with HeWhoLikesMe, and it makes me wonder how anyone can like someone who disappears from life on a regular basis.  He's leaving town in a couple of days, so I may have to pull myself up by my boots sort of thing in order to spend time with him before he leaves. 

I don't understand how I can sleep so much.  I really don't.  How can a person sleep 20 hours a day and still feel sleepy-eyed tired?  I get the physical thing with my body, but you'd think my MIND, my BRAIN, would feel like ... watching TV, at least?  

MS, how much do I hate thee, let me count the ways...

Some other day.

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