After Years of Mostly Problem Free Traveling, "Certain" Airline More Than Made Up For It With a Collossal F*ck-up

IMPORTANT AIRLINE TERMS & PHRASES FOR A CERTAIN AIRLINE

Planning:  something most people do when traveling to far-off places on the planet. 

Preparing:  what most people do when leaving there home for an extended time.  Such as making arrangements for their pets to be cared for in their absence, cleaning out the food that will spoil, and cleaning the house so the cat-sitters don't think you're a pig. 

Packing:  required for most people when traveling to far off places on the planet. 

On a personal note?  Planning, preparing, and packing are not my strong points.  My son, tells me over and over that I pack too much and I need to get it down to a backpack.  I totally agree.  So you can imagine the argument that ensues during the packing phase, while I'm alone in my apartment.  Evidently, Self doesn't agree with me.

Non-Rev:  a passenger who either works for the airlines, or immediate relative of the person working for the airlines.  Non-revenue passengers get to fly free or at very little cost. 

Purpose:  reason for traveling.  In this case, it was to attend a baby shower (triplets!) for someone I really care about.  The fact that 2 house-sitting "jobs" came up within a week of said shower is a major component of this document... such as packing for two weeks...

Responsibility:  having certain duties.  Again, in this case, I also needed to house-sit for both my sister and then a friend. 

List, Listing, Listed:  what the employee of the airlines has to do in order to get his immediate family onto the plane.  It's what paying passengers do when making a reservation.  Somewhat of a hassle when it comes to having a mother who's got planning, preparing, packing and cognitive problems.  I always feel sorry for Jeremy when we're going thru this process. 

Certain Airline Employee:  herds humans thru the ticket lines.  He asked if I had permission for Annie, and I said "huh?"  He said he'd have to get the supervisor to check on it and he'd be right back. 

Power-tripping Certain Airline Supervisor Employee:  One and a half  hours of not being allowed to take my Service Animal on the plane.  All of a sudden, Certain Airline requires you bring a doctor's note that you need a service dog, proof that your dog is a service dog, proof of disability (evidently he couldn't see) and 48 hours notice prior to the flight. 

Non-rev passenger:  Not allowed to complain, whine, weep, bitch or beg because, after all, you are flying free or at very little cost.  If you do, it reflects on your son's employee record and you might lose the right to fly free or at very little cost. 

City of San Francisco Service Dog Tag:  Not enough proof that she is a service dog, because "they can be ordered on the Internet". 

Furious:  What son was when I called him to tell  him what was happening.  He told me to go into bitch mode, I had his permission.  I didn't want to, because of his employee record, and it was obvious to me that doing so would make this particular Certain Airlines supervisor get his back up even more. 

Effort:  trying to be pleasant to the Certain Airlines supervisor, while son is yelling in your ear to go into bitch mode, or give the *&^%^&^%  phone to the Certain Airlines supervisor and he would (*&^%^*&^% take care of it. 

Relief:  when power-tripping supervisor finally decides to let Annie on the plane.

"Shut-up":  what your son says when you tell him the Certain Airlines supervisor is making out your boarding pass, and you're saying to this man that this hasn't ever happened to you before.  (Perhaps not an official "Certain Airlines Terms and Phrases" but now that I think about it, the Certain Airlines supervisor really, realllly wanted to tell me to shut up). 

Helpful:  After one and a half hours, what a Certain Airlines supervisor says to you, in anger, "Ma'am, I am trying to help you", after you told him that this has never happened to you before. 

Rush:  having a half hour to get thru security at the San Francisco airport (busy, long lines) and to the gate. 

Wait:  what one does when at the gate and they are waiting for the pilot.  For another hour. 

Cancel:  a word that you do not want to hear at an airport.  Not in any way, shape or form.

Pilot No-Show:  somebody's gonna get fired...

Customer Service Employees:  Saints.

Worry:  imagining your sister's elderly cats (15 & 16) are going to starve to death. 

To add insult to injury:  When standing in line for a new boarding pass for the next flight out (for the next day, thanks, Idaho Falls for being such a small airport), a man ahead of me was all happy cause he got a flight for that nite via Denver or Vegas or something, leaving at 12:30am, and the 3 Customer Service agents kind of hush hushed him, and said loudly there were no more flights to Idaho Falls that night, which implied to me that he got the last seat.  When it was my turn, I said "I want want he has", in a joking manner.  When I told her it was non-rev, the Customer Service agent said she wasn't spose to do this, but she re-listed me for the next flight.  As she handed me the boarding pass, (which means I got a seat), she said it was for 5:45pm the next day.  As I left the desk, she told me to be sure to check the flight times.  I thought, yea... okay... of course I will, nice advice.  I went home, which is no piece of cake, cause I had to get off the train at 16th and Mission, which is a major scary druggie hang-out, and it was 9ish o'clock.  Dark. 

Lost:  another word one does not want to hear at an airport. 

Luggage:  items of clothing, baby presents and medication packed tightly, usually in rectangular shapes and in various colors.  (Yes, I did have 3 days of pain meds in my purse, I'm not stupid).

Decision making process:  deciding there was no way in hell I was going to make the trek back home with 2 pieces of heavy luggage and back again to the airport the next day.  They could stay lost for all I cared at that point.  Dare I admit that sometimes, when travelling, Annie feels like another piece of luggage?  Having her means one hand is always occupied with dog matters.

Diligent:  At 10am the next morning, the first thing I did was check the flight times.  Maybe the 5:45pm flight was really at 7pm, because my son had told me that was the only direct flight to Idaho Falls on a weekend and maybe she realized at the last minute she made a mistake.  I had to look at the boarding pass several times and the calendar.  It said 12:30. ???  I looked at the clock.  It takes an hour to get to the airport.  I was suppose to be going thru Security by now...

Anger, Disappointment, Confusion:  what one feels when one realizes you're going to miss your flight, and you could have gone to the baby shower after all.  Late maybe, but there, if all went well. 

Lo and behold:  She should have given me a "wink wink" when she told me to re-check the flight time.  Because she had given me a boarding pass for the same flight the man several places ahead of me had got - the 12:30am one the night before.  While I was still at the airport.  I would have made it to the shower for sure. 

Alternate meanings for Anger, Disappointment and Confusion:  why in the world would those 3 Customer Service Agents make a big deal out of there not being any more flights to Idaho Falls, if it was not true? 

???:  Something that Certain Airlines needs to add to their website, because that's how they operate.

Certain Airlines Official Website:  a good informational resource for travelers.

To be continued...

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