Tuesday, November 1, 2011

So Laurie. How's the weight loss going?

Well, it's like this.

16 pounds so far.  I've been here for 6 months.. 

I have a hard time with the hills.

Take the bike out once a day on MOST days.

Walk at least a mile each day with Annie, in the park. 

All my excuses are out the window, down the chute, up a creek, gone Johnson, moot.  It's almost always cool enough.  The pain is manageable.  There's lots of places to go, to see.  I'm so damn happy and even better - content.  I'm just so damn happy.

Which makes me so sad to think back on the last 50 years.  My childhood memories are very few, because there was sexual abuse at ages 2, 4ish, 7, and 14ish.  Aways a dark cloud hovering over the outwardly cheer and leadership at school, but the acting out at home cause there was something wrong, but I didn't know what. 

There were definitely periods of happiness.  Marrying Dan, having Jeremy, and having Jacob.  Jacob will always be tied up with our divorce tho.  When Jacob died, Jeremy kept me from cashing it in, which was a very heavy burden for a child to have.  Many, many years of figuring it out thru counseling, and learning even more as I counseled others and facilitated support groups for sexually/physically/emotionally abused children, teenagers, women, men, couples and perpetrators. 

The years 40ish to 43 were gaining on happiness.  I considered myself healed from childhood abuses, and Jacob's death, as far as one can heal healthily.  I was happy alone, and not needing a man after all.  Men flocked around all of a sudden.  I was having true fun!  Then at 43, in 2000, I was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis.  The symptoms made me have to deal with alot of geriatric issues at least 20 years too soon.  Pain and depression set in for the next 10 years, until now.  It was a different kind of depression from losing a baby, or a relationship.  One can't "heal" from a chronic disease and one with chronic pain to boot. 

So how can simply moving away to a different location change things so very much?  They say you can't run away from your problems, cause they'll just catch up to you.  MS certainly is still here.  I have yet to really tap into the MS clinic, my first appointment is in December, so I haven't benefited from better medical care yet. Nor am I skinny yet. 

So many things are better. 

Tomorrow, I'll list those things for NaBloPoMo.  A post a day for a whole month.  I SWEAR.  Oh coolbeans, when I went to look for the link, I noticed they provide a "prompt" to give you ideas what to write if you want.  If I don't choose to use the prompt, I'll try to give it a short answer.  Today's prompt is "What is your favorite part of writing?"  Since I don't have a creative bone in my body as far as writing stories, my writing has always been reality-based.  Literary real life.  For me, it's also about not being able to remember so many things, unless I write it down. 


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