I'm going to try to participate in a photo a day thingy, hosted by Chantelle of Fat Mum Slim fame. Today's prompt is "Time". At a loss, and not wanting to take another picture off the numerous clocks in my tiny little studio, I Googled "time". Of course. When lost on the Internet, Google. When bored, Google. When your mind is blank, Google. And while I was doing that, this song popped into my head. You should be hearing it now if your speakers are on.
The passing of time has been on my mind alot these days, as I feel like life is passing me by. I'm not able to walk the city like I had planned. Five years ago (or so), I was walking up to 5 miles a day. I know what it took to get to that point, and I've tried - I've really tried to do it again. Today, a knee just gave out, as I walked the 12 steps to the kitchen. Weird feeling. "Gave out" is the wrong term cause that implies that it's job is too strenuous. It's not that - it just disappeared out of sheer snottiness. Stupid knee.
Dammit, every time I think of walking back then, I think of my little puppies.
Back to time. Turn back time. I once asked my mom if she had any regrets, and at the time, I had said that I don't have any. But I do. So many, and I wish I could start all over again, at age 19.
- I wish I had been a better mom
- I wish I hadn't put Muttin/Jeff down
- I wish I hadn't lived with man #2 and 3 (altho I don't regret them... it was just not the best thing to have them in my home)
- I wish I had kept Jacob alive
- I wish I had kept the flower shop going
- I wish I had been able to keep my home
- I wish I had been able to keep some very good friends, both online and in real life. (altho I don't regret them... it was just not the best thing to have their drama in my life, when I needed to be taking care of me and Jeremy)
- I wish I had been able to move to San Francisco sooner, while I was still able to walk.