I've been doing really, really, really well for the last .... 4 days. See, now I'm freaking out - I probably just jinxed myself!
I've quit sleeping on park benches, under the bed, all day and all night. But on the days I have medical appointments (2), I didn't sleep the night before. I've realized I'm a bit obsessive about GETTING to the appointments. Not because of the bus, or where to go type of stuff - it's the worry about whether I'm understanding the Time. Time as in the clock. Am I reading the clock right, and am I understanding the appointment reminder sheet correctly? Has Annie peed and poo'd appropriate amounts that I don't have to worry about her needing to go during the outing? How many extra minutes should I plan for that? The clock and I have issues - the same issues I have with money. I just don't "get" numbers - they don't process well in my head. My sister had to take over my money for me cause of it. It carries over to conversations too.
Me: Has anyone seen CrazyZert today? Cause he destroyed the shrubbery of someone up the block and they called the cops on him.
B.Martha: His case worker was here and made him take a shower this morning.
A few minutes pass and we discuss him more and other things.
Me: So, really, I'm serious. I'm worried that they may have taken CrazyBert to jail, so has anyone seen him?
B.Martha: ummm, duh. What part of "his caseworker made him take a shower this morning did you not understand?"
I just don't put 2 and 2 together. It's not about not listening, because we talked about how much he needed a shower, but he wouldn't allow getting his hair shampooed, and we needed to be careful cause he might have lice at this point, blah blah blah.
I just don't process things if it requires putting 2 and 2 together.
ANYWAYS, I digress.
I am doing TERRIFIC. I've been riding the trike everywhere, and it's an answer to a prayer all of a sudden. I finally figured out that I could raise the seat - and it's soooo much easier! I've got some power in these legs after all! I've been riding it with the pedals way too short. I couldn't believe the difference.
My dog park friend, Zill, told me yesterday that I was doing as good as she's ever seen me before. Today, I walked down the rail-less stairs in the park like a normal person would - left right left right one step per foot, instead of left right each foot each step. Hmmm. I wonder if that made any sense? I did hang on to Annie, cause hey, I'm not stupid. I did a dance of victory when I reached the bottom of the steps - inside my brain. I haven't been able to jump or do anything that requires two feet off the ground at the same time in a very long while.
Yesterday, the news anchor asked the weatherman if we were going to get a break from "these extreme temperatures". Extreme meaning 2 days of almost 75 degrees. !!! ??? I laughed out loud.
I feel physically strong. Which is very, very rare for me. I've done the trike for the last 3 days, but today I decided to walk cause I felt so good. But I stayed in the shade, and I only did half of the park - cause I don't want to OVER DO IT. Dumb f*cking words. Yesterday, I biked (triked?) 6 blocks to the post office to mail off baby gift to Zusti. (I've decided to disquise my real life friends with the letter Z cause I can never remember the fake names I used to use). Little baby Zate is 4lbs as of a couple days ago!
I'm so excited. Annie's mobility harness is spose to come today. I left the FedEx man a love note downstairs on the gate to call me cause I am home. Last time I made a point to be home for delivery, they didn't call. Just left a note on the gate that they would try to deliver again the next day, so I spent 2 days waiting for the dang thing.
It's here! And omg, is it wonderful. Sooo much easier.
|Annie's first day with the mobility harness|